Will I be KIND or will I be RIGHT???

Hey, how are you? 

It is World Kindness Day!

There are so many opportunities in life to be kind.  I was reading a book yesterday and the difference between and optimist and a pessimist came up.  The thing I found most incredible was that the researchers had found that if you are kind and hold the door open for an optimist, they will say "thank you!".  A pessimist will not even notice that you held the door or if they do they will assume you were holding it for someone else behind them.  Isn't that fascinating?  We have all felt the irritation when we hold a door for someone and they do not even acknowledge you.

On a brighter note, I was in Starbucks having coffee with one of my friends recently.  We were sitting near the door and I hopped up and down a few times to hold the door for people carrying too much or pushing baby buggies.  I always to do this but this time was different.  As we were getting up to leave a man, who had been sitting near us, working on his laptop, came over.  He gave us both a voucher for a free coffee.  He said he works for Starbucks and was delighted at how kind I was holding the door.  I was delighted.  My small gesture had been transformed into my favourite Grande Latte!

I often struggle with the concept of "Will I be kind or will I be right?" in my life.  I don't remember where I heard it first but it immediately made me think.  I was spending so much of my time being right and it was draining my energy.

One of the most important times I remember letting something go was with my father.  It was a few months before he died and he was insisting that my mother did not need help in the house.  She was struggling to look after him since he had come home from hospital.  I could not believe that he could not see how much she was running herself into the ground.  I was talking to Dad on the phone and ended up nearly shouting at him.  When I had calmed down a couple of hours later, I realised that my parents were adults!  This can come as a shock to us, believe it or not, when we get into the habit of looking after them.  I had to let them make their own decisions and support them with kindness.

I suddenly thought, am I being kind or am I being right?  Of course, I was being right.  I let go of my need for control (at least for a little while!) and let it go.  They muddled along happily for a month or so till everything fell apart.  Here was another great chance for me to be kind.  It would have been so tempting to say "I told you so!" but I left it alone and helped organise the care they needed.

This made such a difference to our relationship in the last few months of my dad's life.  We spent time enjoying each other's company instead of me trying to dictate to him how I thought it should be.

It was a lesson I will never forget.

The really important time to use this question is with yourself.  Are you being kind to yourself or are you beating yourself up for the times you were not right?  Women in particular have a tough time with this.  We nitpick over the smallest details of our lives where we feel we are not doing well enough.  That little voice in my head, which tells me endlessly how I should be living my life, needs to be trained to be kind!  

As always, in my life I use Modern Energy Tapping to move this on.  I tap on "kindness" as often as I can to let myself off the hook for the silly mistakes I make.

 Check out my free energy tapping video if you want to give it a go.

Remember to Live Life Lightly!

Love from

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash